How Family Therapy Can Help – My Experience

family therapy

Family therapy can help any family. Even with small problems. One of the biggest conceptions on family therapy is that only the most dysfunctional will benefit from therapy, but any family can.

My family was dysfunctional in quite a few ways. The communication was awful at home. When I was at one of the lowest points in my life, my therapist told my mom and I that I needed to seek a family therapist because my home life being so crazy was strongly contributing to my problems in a negative way.

Many people can seek family therapy for other things such as if a child is dealing with issues and needs support from their family.

I originally started family therapy with my mom. This was basically us venting about out time at home and with my dad. Progress wasn’t being made until my dad joined us in therapy. Since communication was the worst between my parents.

Progress wasn’t made immediately, but overtime things got better. Family therapy gave us a safe space and time to talk about problems at home. We each had a chance to voice our own side of each story and talk out a solution.

Everyone in a family unit is different and has their own side to every thing. When one person is a family is dealing with a mental illness or some sort of problem, the whole family will be affected by this.

It’s hard to remember this sometimes. It’s easier to only focus on the stress of yourself or the one person without realize how everyone else is affected. Even if they aren’t saying so.

I needed to be given the opportunity to voice how I felt to my dad is a safe space.

Growing up my dad had severe anger issues. He would lash out at everything and anything. Big and small. Things at home became harder and harder. My dad would scream, call names, and even punch holes in walls. I actually ended up scared for the safety of me and my family.

family

My dad never laid a hand on any of us, but I still would walk away with the emotional scars and damage from this time in my life.

My dads issues started getting better when I became severely depressed and had to go to the hospital for my first suicide attempt. He realized what he was doing was actually causing me damage. Things calmed down a bit, but there still was no communication and I need got any closure I needed from my childhood.

My parents continued to regularly argue even though my dad wasn’t as angry. They never got along and they still have some trouble to this day. An argument would  be started about literally everything. From dinner to what grocery shopping to how I was doing at school. It was a never-ending circle of events.

This made this hard for me. I was never able to focus and there always was negative energy around the house. My dad and I didn’t get along very well either. We lived together almost like college room mates, he never said anything to me. He wouldn’t even say I love you, so I stopped saying it as well.

I wanted this issues to get better, I was sick of feeling trapped in my own home. I had so much weight on my shoulders, and not a single bit of closure on why my dad treated everyone the way he did when I was a child.

family 1Obviously things aren’t perfect now, but they are definitely better. I have been able to close doors to some parts of my life and stop carrying the burdens of the past on my shoulders.

I’m still working on bringing closure to my past, this is something I struggle with since I am unable to get all the answers I need. But despite this, the progress that my family and I have made has been something to be grateful for. My dad and I’s relationship has improved as well. This is something I can’t replace. I wouldn’t have come this far without family therapy.

“The only mistake you can made is not asking for help” – Sandeep Jauher

Never be afraid to reach out for help, whether the problem is big or small.

Love,
Rosie <3

Contact me Here!

Dealing with Everday Loneliness

Loneliness has been one of my biggest struggles with depression.

loneliness

Sometimes I feel like it is very hard to be able to explain your loneliness to someone, Especially because you could be lonely in a crowd of people. Overall this can be an overwhelming and hard to explain experience.

When you feel lonely, you feel empty. You feel as if there is no one around you who could help relieve this feeling. Admitting to being lonely might make you feel weak, and helpless. But being able to recognize this familiar and debilitating feeling is one step of the way to finding out how to help fix it.

Growing up, I never had many friends, so both imaginary and the feeling of loneliness became very familiar to me. Even though I was at such a young and tender age.

A feeling that I really still have trouble beginning to understand is being lonely when in a crowded room. Personally, this is the worst kind of loneliness. I believe that this happens typically when the people around you are not giving you the support that you need. Even though these people may care about you and may have good intentions, they might not understand.

It’s important being able to understand why you are lonely. Did you recently loose a friend or loved one? going through a break up? struggling with depression? These are all major factors to consider when identifying this feeling.

I’ve learned many different coping skills that have given me the ability to combat my loneliness. Some being, reading, calling a good friend, and simply finding different way to keep my mind busy.

In most cases, people who feel a sense of chronic loneliness, struggle with depression. Especially since isolating yourself is a symptom of depression.

If you are someone who feels lonely on a regular basis, it’s important to have a plan on how you are going to handle this feeling.

lonelinessWriting down exactly what you are feeling, then expressing it to someone

This always helps me. I’ve always been a bit of a writing, but the second part of this can be a bit hard but its the most important. When you are feeling alone, letting it sit there can make it worse. So finding someone supportive to express these feeling is crucial.

PETS!

Everyone knows this to be true. One of the best ways to combat loneliness to sit down with or even talk to a pet. Their my favorite best friends!

Call a good friend or family member

This one goes without saying, and may be the most helpful one on this list.

Using your own personal coping skills

We all have our own personal (healthy) methods of coping and making ourselves happy. Such as reading or coloring. These ones are always available to you as well!

Something to remember: The state of loneliness is something that can be changed, if you want it too. The more you let it sit the worse you are letting it get.

Get involved with your mental health and personal well being. It may be hard to begin, but it’s something that you can’t regret. Go out there and be active when comes down to keeping yourself in a healthy state of mind!

Feel free to Contact me here. If you need anything! Thank you more reading!

Much love,
Rosie