How Family Therapy Can Help – My Experience

family therapy

Family therapy can help any family. Even with small problems. One of the biggest conceptions on family therapy is that only the most dysfunctional will benefit from therapy, but any family can.

My family was dysfunctional in quite a few ways. The communication was awful at home. When I was at one of the lowest points in my life, my therapist told my mom and I that I needed to seek a family therapist because my home life being so crazy was strongly contributing to my problems in a negative way.

Many people can seek family therapy for other things such as if a child is dealing with issues and needs support from their family.

I originally started family therapy with my mom. This was basically us venting about out time at home and with my dad. Progress wasn’t being made until my dad joined us in therapy. Since communication was the worst between my parents.

Progress wasn’t made immediately, but overtime things got better. Family therapy gave us a safe space and time to talk about problems at home. We each had a chance to voice our own side of each story and talk out a solution.

Everyone in a family unit is different and has their own side to every thing. When one person is a family is dealing with a mental illness or some sort of problem, the whole family will be affected by this.

It’s hard to remember this sometimes. It’s easier to only focus on the stress of yourself or the one person without realize how everyone else is affected. Even if they aren’t saying so.

I needed to be given the opportunity to voice how I felt to my dad is a safe space.

Growing up my dad had severe anger issues. He would lash out at everything and anything. Big and small. Things at home became harder and harder. My dad would scream, call names, and even punch holes in walls. I actually ended up scared for the safety of me and my family.

family

My dad never laid a hand on any of us, but I still would walk away with the emotional scars and damage from this time in my life.

My dads issues started getting better when I became severely depressed and had to go to the hospital for my first suicide attempt. He realized what he was doing was actually causing me damage. Things calmed down a bit, but there still was no communication and I need got any closure I needed from my childhood.

My parents continued to regularly argue even though my dad wasn’t as angry. They never got along and they still have some trouble to this day. An argument would  be started about literally everything. From dinner to what grocery shopping to how I was doing at school. It was a never-ending circle of events.

This made this hard for me. I was never able to focus and there always was negative energy around the house. My dad and I didn’t get along very well either. We lived together almost like college room mates, he never said anything to me. He wouldn’t even say I love you, so I stopped saying it as well.

I wanted this issues to get better, I was sick of feeling trapped in my own home. I had so much weight on my shoulders, and not a single bit of closure on why my dad treated everyone the way he did when I was a child.

family 1Obviously things aren’t perfect now, but they are definitely better. I have been able to close doors to some parts of my life and stop carrying the burdens of the past on my shoulders.

I’m still working on bringing closure to my past, this is something I struggle with since I am unable to get all the answers I need. But despite this, the progress that my family and I have made has been something to be grateful for. My dad and I’s relationship has improved as well. This is something I can’t replace. I wouldn’t have come this far without family therapy.

“The only mistake you can made is not asking for help” – Sandeep Jauher

Never be afraid to reach out for help, whether the problem is big or small.

Love,
Rosie <3

Contact me Here!

My Experience with Body Dysmorphia

self love bodyBody dysmorphic disorder is when you become obsess with a possible imperfection that you may have and flaws in your appearance. Sometimes these flaws are not even there, there in your head. This is something I struggled with for quite some time. I want to share how I’ve started to care more about my body and also share how important self love is.

The negative thoughts towards my body started at an extremely young age. I was in the first grade and I thought I was “fat”. Looking back on this, I obviously wasn’t fat. It’s confusing to look back and wonder why I was feeling this way at such a young age. My main focus on my body was my legs. I hated them and for some reason I just thought that they where too big. I was also bullied a lot and didn’t have a good home life. These where definitely huge contributions to my low self esteem.

When looking back at pictures from when I was a child, I was not fat. I looked like an average child,

but when looking at these pictures I sometimes can’t help but analyze every aspect of my body, especially the way my legs look in the photo.

 

The worst part about of all this was that I was to young explain or understand what I was feeling. You can’t start working on an issue until you know what the issue actually is. Being so young I wasn’t able to understand this.

Middle school was especially rough. Everyone in middle school feels a bit insecure. It’s hard, your body and mind start to change and this becomes very emotional. I experimented a lot with dieting, diet pills and lots of exercises, specifically leg exercises. My good friend was in a very similar situation to me and would support me, but wouldn’t always support me in the right ways. We where negative influences to each other.

trapped in body

Something huge I noticed in many people with body dysmorphic disorder is how much you begin to compare little things about others to yourself. You might notice things about others that you wish you had on yourself.

This is something I did often. I would stare at others, comparing little things about them to little things about myself.

What started this comparing is girls that are displayed in the media. I wanted my body to be like theirs, as most young girls do. It can be scary to see how there are so many brands such as ‘Victoria’s secret’ that only display ‘picture perfect’ bodies. This was a huge influence on me and many other girls I knew in middle school. We all would look at a Victoria’s secret catalog and strongly admire these girls.

I realized I had to stop looking to other people/ models and stop comparing myself to others to begin to love myself.

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes to every one else’s highlight reel.” – Steven Furtick

Another huge insecurity I had growing up besides my legs, was my hair. Everyone would bully me for hair being to messy and too greasy. Something I did to cope with my insecurity on my hair is scalp is I began to pick and peel at the skin on my scalp. Ew, right?

I didn’t get this habit under control until about a year and a half ago. It became a serious addictive habit at the time.

I never talked about any of my body insecurities or skin picking to anyone….

Until I started a program at a hospital. I was in CBT in the past but never an actual hospital program, so I took advantage of this opportunity to get better.

happy self love body

They put me on new medications that I’ve never tried in the past and these actually helped more than I thought they could. The medication was only half of the battle though, I still had to work on and develop the coping skills to help me with my issues.

I made it a point to stop comparing myself to others and whenever I felt myself doing so, I would tell my self that I don’t know what goes behind the scenes for them and that they may have there own insecurities as well.

This was a long battle I had with myself. I’ve made it so far by practicing self love and taking good care of my body by regularly staying active. I’m not giving up.

I want you all to know that help is out there. If you can’t find your way now, you’ll find it someday, never let your insecurities win. Do what makes you feel happy and love yourself.

There is only one you, you only have one body, show yourself the love everyone deserves.

Much love,

Rosie xo

Feel free to Contact Me. Or leave a comment!

Hotlines:

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders
630-577-1330

National Mental Health Association Hotline
800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Call Center
800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863

 

The Toxic Internet: How the internet turned me into something I’m not

toxic internet

How the internet made me into something I’m not and How I got out of it.

This is a weird topic to talk about, isn’t it? Since here I am, on the internet, talking about the internet being toxic. The internet has everything from funny cat videos, to cool stuff, all the way to being able to make new friends. But where do things start heading south?

I started using the internet on regular basis at a young age. I was around middle school age and social media and the internet where still somewhat new to everyone. Online I learned a lot, but with all the freedom I had, and no supervision, I made a lot of mistakes.

 

Now you must be asking: How can you really make that much mistakes on the internet?

 

It all started with “Cat-fishing”, Cat-fishing is when you go onto a social media account and pretend to be someone you aren’t by using fake names, pictures and information.

I was young, and my best friend told me to just make a Facebook/Myspace account with a fake name and photos because we where too young to have our own information on our accounts. Looking back on this, I wondered why I even made an account at all. At the end of the day, I was too young and this was an awful idea.

With the fake name and the pictures of a pretty girl on my profile, my friends list started growing rapidly. This made me feel wanted and all the extra attention made me happy at the time. Writing about this honestly makes feel so embarrassed cause I wonder why I did any of this.

 

Talking to these people online started to create problems. People thought I was older, and lived a completely different life than I actually did.

People would want to meet up, or video chat and for some reason they would get so angry if I said no. Some people were honestly a bit insane and over the top. Someone even called the police on me! But being around 11-12 and a total immature, naive catfish, I had no idea how to handle these situations.

internet

 

This would continue to get worse as I began to dislike myself even more. Everyone only like the fake me, fake pictures and fake life, but no one cared for the real me. I started to feel awful about myself and every time I looked in the mirror, I hoped I would see someone different than me.

Every morning I’d hope to open my eyes to some great life that was just anything but what I was actually living. I wanted to be perfect.

The internet gave me this ability to become someone I’m not. There was so many influences across the web that told it was okay to continue what I was doing.

 

So whats the lesson in all this?

I learned how easy the internet makes  it to play a role, and a lot of people do it. Not everyone uses fake pictures and catfish accounts either. Some celebrities edit their photos and make it out to seem like their life is picture perfect. We all want to show the world how interesting and amazing our life is, so we try our hardest. It’s bout amazing and terrifying to see how far we have come with both technology and the internet.

Now that I am much older,

I know how to use the internet in a more positive manner such as my blog and trying to spread positivity with writing. Through my blog I want to continue spreading this positivity. Teaching others how to use the internet as more of a happy place for them has made me happy.

I finally deleted my catfish accounts around age of 13-14,when I started high school and started making real friends. I also realized if anyone actually found these catfish accounts it wouldn’t make me look that good. Doing this made me feel better over time, because I started to feel more like myself and work more on myself.

I realized how something as little has photo shopping your photos can change how you look at yourself. And that Pretending to be someone else can begin to turn you into someone else.

The most important thing to take from this is that not everything online is as perfect as it seems. All the celebrities you know are human just like you and me and their lives are not perfect. Don’t use the internet for attention either, you might just end up even more lonely than you where to begin with.

Be yourself and love yourself. Do things for you not for others. Use the Internet to look for positive role models and happiness.

Much love,

Rosie xo

Feel free to Contact me Here!

Also you can leave a comment down below! Have an amazing day!

 

Healthy Eating for Happiness

Healthy eating can be hard but it’s crazy how much it can affect your mood. Foods like chocolate, cake, and chips, tend to give you temporary happiness but since they contain no real nutrients and simple are not good for you, they make you feel crappy in the long run.

Studies have actually shown that unhealthy diets contribute to depression.

Sugar can actually cause you stress. Since when you are stressed out, your body looks for sugary food. A lot of people who start addictive binge eating begin eating when stressed out and depressed.

Emotional eating is definitely not the way to go when feeling down. You are not eating because you are hungry, but because you are looking for a temporary way to relieve your stress.

It’s important to eat enough as well. It is not just eating junk foods and sugars that can cause issues with mental health. If you are eating enough as you should be or not eating at the right times, this can cause some issues.

If you are feeling tired, light headed and your stomach is feeling empty then it’s important to eat. Never starve yourself for any reason, always remember you are beautiful and both you and your body deserve the best treatment.

The most important meal of day- Breakfast!! You all have probably heard this many times before. But it’s true! Starting your day off with a nice big meal full of nutrients will leave you feeling happy and satisfied!

For me personally, I feel so much better when I eat healthy with an occasional treat every once and a while. My favorite treat is a giant bowl ice cream!! 😉 Since I started regularly eating healthy, I have also felt so much more confident with my body. I think this is because I’m taking good care of  my body so I feel so much happy with my body.

The most important thing out of all this is to do what makes you feel happy, confident, and satisfied. Everyone deserves to love themselves and be happy and the best way to get started us by eating healthy and taking care of your body!

Much love,

Rosie

The Lowest Point in my Life

The lowest point in my life: A journal prompt

I’m doing a bit of a heavy prompt today. I’m going to be talking about one the lowest points in my life yet.

It all started when I first began high school. I never had many friends before this point and I was confused and trying to find myself. While doing so I ended up mixing up within the wrong crowd.

I met my first best friend there within the first few days. At first I was excited, I never thought I could have so much in common with someone. This made me so happy. And because I never had many friends, I got ahead of myself very quickly.

Soon after meeting her, I found out a lot. She was living in a rough situation, emotionally abusive parents, she also self harmed and did quite a bit of drugs.

At this time, I did whatever I could to fit in with her. She continued to introduce me to people who were a lot like her. I fell right into all of their bad habits.

They convinced me to not care about myself or simply anything because “fuck the world”. (Sorry for cursing.) I became irritable all the time and treated my parents horribly. I stopped doing most of my school work and ditched school often.

At this time, I also started regular self harm around this time as well. I was very depressed and I was treating myself through drugs, influences, and self harm. I didn’t know any other way of coping.

At this time I was getting help as well, hospitalization was also considered at times. But I had a lot of trouble accepting this help.

Towards the end of the school year thing slowly began to improve in my life.

I started to realize what was happening to me. I also made some good friends, who are still my friends today. These friends told me that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd and that I deserved to be happy. They actually made me feel loved and cared about.Randomly, my friend who was the bad influence stopped talking to me. This was after she started dating a girl who didn’t like me very much. I remember being depressed and feeling betrayed over this. For a while I thought she was a true friend. I tried to talk to her several times, only to be ignored.

My friends started showing me screenshots of her talking behind my back. That was the deal breaker for me. I realized how awful my friends were to me at times. Then I realized I deserved better.

I dumped all my bad friends and bad habits and started working on myself to get better. 

From there my growth was slow but now my life is so much better than what it was. I’m grateful for the friends and the family that have helped me grow and change.

I just want to say I’m in much better place now. And the friend who I originally met in my freshman year is also in a much better place. I’m so grateful to be where I am right now. I also want to thank everyone reading for the support you all have given.

Contact me here if you having any feedback or questions. You can also leave a comment if you’d like 🙂

Much love,

Rosie

 

Dealing with Everday Loneliness

Loneliness has been one of my biggest struggles with depression.

loneliness

Sometimes I feel like it is very hard to be able to explain your loneliness to someone, Especially because you could be lonely in a crowd of people. Overall this can be an overwhelming and hard to explain experience.

When you feel lonely, you feel empty. You feel as if there is no one around you who could help relieve this feeling. Admitting to being lonely might make you feel weak, and helpless. But being able to recognize this familiar and debilitating feeling is one step of the way to finding out how to help fix it.

Growing up, I never had many friends, so both imaginary and the feeling of loneliness became very familiar to me. Even though I was at such a young and tender age.

A feeling that I really still have trouble beginning to understand is being lonely when in a crowded room. Personally, this is the worst kind of loneliness. I believe that this happens typically when the people around you are not giving you the support that you need. Even though these people may care about you and may have good intentions, they might not understand.

It’s important being able to understand why you are lonely. Did you recently loose a friend or loved one? going through a break up? struggling with depression? These are all major factors to consider when identifying this feeling.

I’ve learned many different coping skills that have given me the ability to combat my loneliness. Some being, reading, calling a good friend, and simply finding different way to keep my mind busy.

In most cases, people who feel a sense of chronic loneliness, struggle with depression. Especially since isolating yourself is a symptom of depression.

If you are someone who feels lonely on a regular basis, it’s important to have a plan on how you are going to handle this feeling.

lonelinessWriting down exactly what you are feeling, then expressing it to someone

This always helps me. I’ve always been a bit of a writing, but the second part of this can be a bit hard but its the most important. When you are feeling alone, letting it sit there can make it worse. So finding someone supportive to express these feeling is crucial.

PETS!

Everyone knows this to be true. One of the best ways to combat loneliness to sit down with or even talk to a pet. Their my favorite best friends!

Call a good friend or family member

This one goes without saying, and may be the most helpful one on this list.

Using your own personal coping skills

We all have our own personal (healthy) methods of coping and making ourselves happy. Such as reading or coloring. These ones are always available to you as well!

Something to remember: The state of loneliness is something that can be changed, if you want it too. The more you let it sit the worse you are letting it get.

Get involved with your mental health and personal well being. It may be hard to begin, but it’s something that you can’t regret. Go out there and be active when comes down to keeping yourself in a healthy state of mind!

Feel free to Contact me here. If you need anything! Thank you more reading!

Much love,
Rosie