What I Learned from Getting Demoted from my First Job

My first job was in the customer service industry, as most teenagers jobs. My most demanding task was having to talk to customers and serve them. I was also in a some what high end restaurant, so they were pretty uptight about employee performance. “The customer is always right.” 

But I had social anxiety, and this was my first job, so my shifts didn’t always go so well. I would constantly rehearse what I was supposed to say but when I was face to face with a customer, I would freeze.

Other than that issue, I thought I was doing a good job. I enjoyed working there, I loved my coworkers, and I was payed pretty well for a first job. I made mistakes sometimes, as everyone does, but no one said that I was doing THAT poorly.

Then I was in my managers office, crying. I was super embarrassed, I was especially embarrassed for crying. I felt like a failure and I wondered what I did wrong, I really wanted to stand up for myself, I was too ashamed to though.

My work gave me an ultimatum, I could accept the lesser position or I could leave. I obviously wanted to keep my job, so I accepted the offer. Now that I’m a bit older, and more experienced in the work industry, I’m glad I got demoted. It gave me a place to learn and grow from and I’ll explain why.

1.It’s okay to make mistakes:

I feel as if everyone tells you this throughout your life, but it takes a lot to actually believe it. I always was okay when others made mistakes, but I never accepted my own mistakes. When I stopped dwelling on all my mistakes and I started realizing that it was okay, I felt happier. I also felt as if my work performance was getting better as well. Since I wasn’t so uptight.

2. Ask for performance reviews/Understanding why:

I always get nervous before asking the simple question of “How have I been doing recently” But doing this can help you understand why you were originally demoted and how you can grow from any mistakes you are making and fix them.

3. Always room for improvement:

There is always room to improve. Don’t let this fact get you down, it doesn’t mean you aren’t doing well already. It just means you can always be a better version of what you are. This kind of goes with asking for a performance review.

4. Being patient and taking the text steps:

You might enjoy your new position, for me I never left my job, I took it in stride and ended up getting paid more in the long run. After you spend more time at this job, and you get your head around how everything works, you may be given another chance. Or you may be able to ask to move back up after some time.

5. Feel free to ask for help

It’s okay to ask for help. My biggest help was my coworkers who I could go to when I was stumped or needed support. You don’t need to ask your coworkers either. You can also go to your family and friends for some advice and help as well.

6. It’s okay if you want to look for another job:

I thought about getting another job, and I looked even though I wound up staying at this job. But if you feel as if your work is being unfair to you, you obviously have every right to leave and find a new job. Don’t go around telling every at your job that you are planning on leaving though, just do it on the down low and whenever the time is right, put your two weeks in.

If you feel like you’ve been wrongfully demoted-

You definitely have the right to report this to HR if you have the documentation.

There’s a lot that I’ve learned from this experience. I’m glad that it happened this way though, and I don’t have any regrets for how things have went. Go with your gut feeling and do what you feel is best for your situation. Be proud of yourself for getting this far.
I hope that you all have enjoyed reading this post and is helpful to anyone who is in or has been in a similar situation.

Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to contact me if you have any questions and leave feedback and comments!

Love,
Rosie

 

Staying Active to Fight Depression

download (3)When you are struggling with depression it’s easy to stay in bed all day. But getting up and being active might be exactly what you might need. Staying psychically active can even help you sleep better on the side of boosting your mood!

You don’t have to do any extreme/crazy exercise either. It can be as simple as walking around your block. It’s even easier to get started if you are able to find something you enjoy, such as a sport or a yoga/dance class. It’s simple and easy, any kind of psychical activity can be used!

Start slow-

Don’t rush into it or push yourself too hard. The morning is when I tend to feel most depressed, it was a bit hard at first, but getting up just 10 minutes earlier to go for a quick walk or do some quick stretches made a huge difference. Eventually I was able to make that into 15 minutes, then 20. Soon I was able to join a gym and fit even more time into my day for psychical activity. There was no way I could have started off by going to the gym an hour a day at first, that would have made me very over whelmed. So moving slowly was key.images

Recently my favorite way to stay active is going to the tennis court with my boyfriend. Neither of us actually know how to play tennis, but we have tons of fun just hitting the ball back and forth!

Find a Exercise Buddy!

This can be crucial. If you have someone to exercise with, you will be more apt to going out there and actually doing it. It might even makes things more fun! If you know someone who has a gym membership and can bring a guest, just ask if  you could tag along with them sometime! You might have a lot of fun!

Do it Anyway-

If you find yourself really not wanting to be active one, try to just get up do it anyways. Even if it’s just for five minutes. It might just turn your day around. It may be easier to just stay in bed, but it definitely won’t make you feel any better.

The Science Part!

If you’re wondering exactly why exercising can help, the reason would be the chemicals in your brain. Your brain sends out positive endorphin’s throughout the body, which can release anxiety and make you feel better. When you regularly exercise, overtime you will notice that you may be sleeping better, have less stress, and it can even boost your self esteem! All of these can turn your life in a full 360!

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Remember to be patient with yourself as well. You might not see immediate results and that is okay. Things like this take time, and at the end of the day when everything is all said and done, you may realize that you made a great choice. Take things slow and show yourself love!

 

Love,

Rosie

Please feel free to leave comments on feedback and how you use exercise to help with your daily life!

Grateful For 50 Things : A Journal Prompt of The Week

First and foremost I just wanted to tell everyone I’ve recently decided to start posting weekly journal prompts to my blog.  By doing this I hope to not only give you guys a journal prompt that you can do on your own, but also answer the journal prompt on my own as well. My hopes are that this will give you guys an opportunity to take the ideas for a journal as well as being able to get to know me. Today I want to write about the things that I am grateful for today, and I want to see for myself if I can come up with at least 50, so without further adieu…

Here are the things I’m grateful for:

Being Grateful Quote

  1. Family and friends who are always there
  2. My job
  3. This blog, and its reader
  4. Being able to do what I love
  5. Having a roof over my head
  6. My education
  7. All the great people I’ve met over the years
  8. The animal shelter I volunteer at
  9. Every amazing book I’ve ever read
  10. My car
  11. Being healthy
  12. The internet
  13. Cats and Animals
  14. Money!!
  15. My mom being my best friend
  16. Good food!
  17. Traveling
  18. Hugs and cuddles
  19. Fresh and clean water!!
  20. Being able to go for long walks
  21. The Gym
  22. Clothes and fashion
  23. My cell phone and Phone service
  24. Being able to document moments by taking photos
  25. Indian food!
  26. Movies!
  27. Going out to eat
  28. Being able to see, smell, and hear/ use all my senses
  29. Thrift stores
  30. Free samples
  31. Coloring
  32. A good nights sleep
  33. Summer and spring weather
  34. Being generious
  35. Having fun
  36. Going to the beach
  37. Trees and flowers
  38. Emotions
  39. The mistakes I’ve made that taught me how to grow
  40. Cooking!
  41. Where I live
  42. My support system
  43. Colors of the rainbow
  44. Things that smell nice
  45. Smoothies!
  46. Hiking!
  47. Sitting by a warm fire at night
  48. Music
  49. Clean Laundry

Finally,

50. Being able to have gratitude!

It can be a little hard to find what you are grateful for, but once you get going you realize all the things in your life that you have that you might have originally taken for granted! For further posts about looking at the glass half full check out my article on 10 simple ways to boost your self-esteemLastly, and as always, thank you so much for reading; consider leaving a question, comment, or critique in the comments section.

With much love in my heart,

Rosie

Self Esteem: 10 Simple Ways to Improve the Tarnished Ego

Low self esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.

Issues with self esteem is something we all struggle with at some point in out lives. Boosting your self esteem can greatly improve you life all around and is essential to  be successful at finding peace and happiness. If you regularly use these tips, you will definently see a huge difference

1. Focus on the good people in your life-

Remember they love you. Try to cut out all the toxic relationships you may have, they only make things worse.

“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.”

-John Mark Green

2. Don’t dwell on past mistakes/regrets-

Everyone does something that they shouldn’t have at some point in their lives. Don’t worry or beat yourself up over those mistakes. Learn to let go and grow from them.

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”

– Oscar Wilde

3. Count all your blessings-

Remember to count all your blessings, both big and small.     

“Count your blessings to fill your life with bliss.”

– Debasish Mridha

4. Self Talk-

When you are thinking negatively, it’s important to shut your inner critic up. Remind yourself whats true and reasonable and whats not. I wrote and article on this here

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”

– Hans Selye

5. Accomplish goals-

Set reasonable goals for yourself that you are able to accomplish. Getting stuff done will always make you feel good. 🙂

“Accomplish something every day of your life.”

– Walter Annenberg

6. Eating healthy and exercising-Self Esteem by letting go of the things that weigh us down

There are many studies showing how taking good care if your body can improve self esteem. And speaking from experience, I definitely agree. 

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”

– Jim Rohn

7. Be kind to yourself and others-

When being kind to others you will start to be kind to yourself. Seeing how happy people become when you are kind to them will definitely brighten your day. 

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

– Dalai Lama

8. Do not compare yourself to others-

This is super important and essential to finding peace and happiness in life. Everyone is struggling with their own problems. Focus on loving yourself. You are your number 1 priority. 

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

9. Do what makes you happy-

Follow your passion. Don’t ever worry about what others what you to do, this is something I struggled with for a long time. Just do you. 

“You’ll be much more successful if you follow your dreams and follow your passions.”

– Jay Weatherill

10. Smile-

It’s super easy and simple. Almost too simple. But smiling makes us happy by sending off chemical reaction and releasing endorphin’s into your brain which will surely increase your mood.  

“Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.”

– John Ray

Remember, having amazing self esteem doesn’t happen overnight, so don’t get down on yourself for not improving quickly. Just try to use these in yourself daily life and stay optimistic. Be patient and show yourself love.

Much love,

Rosie <3

 

The Truth about Getting Help from Hospitals

When people talk about going into an in patient/out patient program at a hospital, they act like it’s some kind of prison. but really,  and I’m speaking from experience, these programs are super helpful when something just isn’t right in your life.

Thinking back, I can remember a time when I was around 16 or so, and I was struggling with hardcore depression. I never wanted to enroll into a program because I was so scared of all the negative things I was told about these hospitals. But I was sick of how I was feeling. I had to get help, so I went to my schools counselors office and I finally opened up about everything I was feeling.

Honestly, at this point, I was scared shitless, especially when my mom was called. I was scared she wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want her to have to go through any trouble because of me. But the first thing she said to me is “I’m not mad, it’s okay” I felt better but I was still scared. I knew I had to be evaluated and I was nervous of having to stay in a hospital overnight without my family.

I didn’t end up having stay at the hospital overnight, but I was put in a outpatient program that I had to attend everyday for about 6 hours. I was in this program for about two to three weeks, which was average for everyone else there.

Something I quickly realized while there, most of the people who did not like the program didn’t want to receive the help. The thing is, to get help and feel better you have to WANT to get help and feel better. they were in a negative mindset where they did not want to receive any help. The people who where thinking so negatively didn’t want help. Obviously not all programs are for everyone, but there are so many out there to choose from. I truly believe that there is one out there for you, and everyone else struggling. Keep your mind open. Keep searching.

During my time in the program, I improved greatly. While there, I had individual therapy sessions as well as group therapy sessions, we all learned different skills to use outside of the group once we are discharged. Some of those skills include different coping mechanisms, how to handle stressful situations and how to be mindful.

The best thing about the program I was in was that it did not interfere with being at school. My school still made some accommodations for me to be able to work stress free such as moving my deadlines back for my work. Most schools and workplaces will make these accommodations available with a doctors note, so do not be embarrassed to speak up. Just remember that you are doing this to help and better yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Many people who I have met that have either been in inpatient or outpatient programs have always said that they definitely recommend it to others. Something to note is that you have to go to these programs with a positive mindset.

If you feel like there is too much weight on your shoulders to bear, and nothing seems to be working. You should definitely look into getting an evaluation and entering a program. Don’t listen to anything or anyone that’s telling you that getting this kind of help means your “weak”, “crazy” or “weird”. Do whats important to your mental health. If you need any help or advice feel free to contact me.

Thank you for reading.

Love,
Rosie

 

Immediate help/Suicide Hotline : 1 (800) 273-8255

 

Mindfulness

Finding time during the day to be mindful is essential to mental growth and well being.

mind·ful·ness

 ˈmīn(d)f(ə)lnəs/

noun

 the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.

   “their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”

a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

 Something that’s amazing about being mindful is that you can practice it anywhere. The more you practice, the easier it become.
You can practice whenever you have down time at work, school, home, etc. You can practice for one minute or one hour. Any amount of time that you please.
 The best way to be mindful is  to find a comfortable seat and to pay close attention to your senses, your body, feelings and thoughts.
 You can either close your eyes or let them just rest.
Notice how your body feels while you are sitting. Inhale, exhale, and pay attention to your breathing. Let the random thoughts you have come and go.
Before you finish, start paying attention to your senses. What are you smelling, hearing, tasting, seeing?
  •  How and where I practice mindfulness:

I usually practice mindfulness when I’m the only one home or if I’m not doing much at school. Simply whenever I have some quiet time. My family is kind of loud so I usually have to pick a time of day when I’m alone. I just take a seat on the floor usually, sit up straight, and just breath. I only do this for about 5 minutes.

I get stressed out throughout the day, with all the work I have to get done, so this is really helpful. I first actually learned about mindfulness when I was in a therapy group when I was around 16. In the beginning of all of our sessions, we’d all sit in silence and just breath. Afterwards, we would talk about what we observed when being mindful.

Now I try to practice every time I can. This is something you can do even with your kids, children can get a bit riled up so practicing quiet time with them is amazing for bonding!

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” – James Baraz”

 

Reading for Happiness

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

– Dr. Suess

In middle school, I hated class, so I’d always keep a book under my desk to secretly read. I’d even read during lunch.

No one would talk to me, when they did they weren’t always nice. Reading was an escape for me, a time to put my self in the narrators shoes and get lost in a book.

I believe reading has a strong positive effect on people. I’ve been taught a lot of wisdom by many books. When reading you learn more about the world, you learn about others and improve your creativity and imagination.

My favorite author is Fredik Backman. I’ve read 4 books of his, they are beautiful and they truly teach you a lot. His book “A man called Ove” is about a grumpy old man who on the inside has a big heart. It was one of the best books I’ve ever read and it taught meso much about compassion.

There are so much different options for what to read about, you can read fiction or non-fiction, fantasy or realistic fiction. If you don’t enjoy reading, trust me I guarantee that somewhere there is at least one book you will enjoy. For anyone struggling with any kind of situation or mental illness, I always will suggest reading as an amazing coping strategy.

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. “

-Henry Ford

Start reading today, you will find some peace in doing so.

Love,

Rosie

Feel free to leave any feedback or contact me! Thank you!

Choosing Happiness

Of course choosing to simply ‘be happy’ isn’t easy, but it’s possible.

Choosing to be happy involves making choices throughout your day that effect your mood. You obviously can’t just become happy overnight, but making the right choices will definitely make a difference.

So what choices can you make? I’ll give you some ideas:

Count your blessings:

Always remind yourself of what you have. It will surprise you that knowing what your grateful for, and keeping track of all your blessings, will make a huge impact on your life. So when you are feeling low, think of all the things that you appreciate. Never let the little things bring you down.

Cut out negative relationships, nurture positive ones:

There will always be people who bring you down, but giving yourself the power to ignore those people or cut them out of your life will make huge improvements. The people around us have a huge impact on our mood so also learning how to grow those positive relationships will be beneficial.

Smile:

Science has proven that giving a simple smile can improve your mood. Whenever you look in the mirror, smile at yourself. Tell yourself that you are going to have a good day.

Be patient with yourself:

This can hard, especially if you are so used to having a negative thought pattern. Don’t be hard yourself, give yourself time to relax and remember that things don’t happen overnight. Don’t ever give up on yourself.

Fight your negative thoughts:

I wrote an article here on challenging negative thoughts. Learning how to challenge my negative thoughts helped me complete my goals and improve my personal well being.

Do kind things for others:

Something that always helps me feel better is being selfless. Being kind to others have been proven to make you and others around you happy.

Grow and learn from mistakes:

Don’t dwell on the past and worry about your mistakes. Look at your mistakes as learning experiences instead of beating yourself up over them.

 

Start today and choose positivity. I hope this article was beneficial.

Feel free to comment any feedback or contact me

Much love,

Rosie

What Animals Teach us about Happiness

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

I’m an animal lover. I work at an animal shelter, volunteer my time, rescue and foster. Working with animals (specifically cats) has taught me so much. I’m proud to say that they are my inspiration.,

Over the years, I have met many different cats and dogs (other animals too!. Some from very different backgrounds-

Some abused, some sick, some abandoned, some with special needs, some who have never met a human before, Etc.

These guys have taught me many things, but what they really taught me was- To be grateful and happy for everything I have. 

These animals who have nothing, have been given up, have been abused, will still perk up when you pet them. They get exited as soon as you open the cage door and they’re ready for love.

It amazes me that some pets, who have had it rough, will still come around to trust you.

I’ve seen cats who were once scared and huddled in the back of the cage, soon come out to be total love bugs.

I’ve realized that even though that I have the ability to be happy as well, even though I’ve had it rough, just like them. I’ve become so much more grateful than I used to be, so much more nurturing. They are my biggest inspiration. I feel as if it’s a privilege to be able to rescue and help animals, a privilege I’m grateful for.

Love, Rosie

 

Embracing other emotions (Quick Read)

Don’t fixate all your energy on happiness, remember that it’s okay to feel other emotions. Your goal simply can’t be “Be happy all the time” There is nobody who is happy all the time.

There Can’t be happiness without sadness.

Remember, to be able to feel real happiness, you have to feel other emotions. You can’t be truly happy if you bottle all your emotions up.

In life there is going to be a lot of stressful moments and keep feelings inside can take a damaging toll on you. You need to let yourself cry and be angry, be nurturing to yourself. You will feel so much better when you let it all out, it may even help bring some peace to your heart. Find time to relax and just think, recognize those feelings and simply feel.

Give yourself that control

Take control of your feelings, don’t let things get to you. Once you give yourself the power, you will find peace and things will get better.

Love,

Rosie

Feel free to comment and give feedback (this is just a little bit of thoughts)